Jock Hop
This season of ABC's Dancing With the Stars, the show's 18th, boasts the most athlete-heavy roster in its history, with five: swimmer Diana Nyad, former NHLer Sean Avery, Paralympian snowboarder Amy Purdy and Sochi ice dancing gold medalists Charlie White and Meryl Davis (whose inclusion seems a bit unfair). Current and retired athletes have won the competition seven times: Indy driver Helio Castroneves, gymnast Shawn Johnson, speedskater Apolo Anton Ohno, figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi and NFL players Emmitt Smith, Hines Ward and Donald Driver. There are other sports figures the show should consider.
Johnny Weir
Already has the wardrobe (think feathers); Tara Lipinski can tag along to add commentary.
Mike Tyson
Sensitive mauler loves a live audience; they say boxing is like sweaty ballet, no?
A-Rod
Preening and narcissism are welcome in this format, plus there's no drug testing.
Lance Armstrong
See A-Rod, and DWTS is about the only competition he's not banned from at this point.
Bill Belichick
Will be nice to see him in something other than a hoodie; he and Tom Brady make a winning pair.
Serena Williams
Fierce competitor with a stellar fashion sense and willingness to argue with the chair.
Brittney Griner
Known for nimble footwork, and at nearly seven feet in heels, she'd tower over her partner.
David Beckham
Probably knows the Spice Girls' routines by heart and would excel at those high kicks.
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
Police have opened a gambling investigation at Tarpon Springs Golf Course in Florida after a tipster said participants were wagering $20 a week during league play.
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