What Would Sally Field Do?

LAST WEEK A young boy showed up at an Orioles game carrying a sign that read: MY NAME REALLY IS CAMDEN YARDS. MLB.com interviewed the lad and his family, and although his parents weren't identified, they did confirm that the boy, a fan of both baseball and the O's, is named after the park. So it goes in a world that already contains children named Wrigley Field and Crimson Tide. The only thing that could make this naming quirk more troubling would be for conveniently named athletes to jump onboard. A few suggestions.

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PLAYER	CHILD'S NAME	ANALYSIS
Josh Fields	Citi	An attractive child filled with self-loathing; money problems
Gilbert Arenas	Joe Louis	Nice kid, winner inside, ready to fight—gloves on or off
Manute Bol	Rose	Laid-back flower child who blends in with her natural surroundings
Chan Ho Park	Fenway	A heartbreaker who will age gracefully and eventually cash in
Tie Domi	Georgia	Southern belle who's a bit hollow and has a thing for losers

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

Robert Morris has become the first school offering athletic scholarships for its varsity video game team.

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TWITTER.COM (CAMDEN YARDS)

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ALEX BRANDON/AP (FIELDS)

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JOE MURPHY/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (ARENAS)

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JOHN W. MCDONOUGH FOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED (BOL)

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STEPHEN DUNN/GETTY IMAGES (PARK)

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BRUCE BENNETT/GETTY IMAGES (DOMI)

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