Skip to main content
Original Issue

What Would Sally Field Do?

LAST WEEK A young boy showed up at an Orioles game carrying a sign that read: MY NAME REALLY IS CAMDEN YARDS. MLB.com interviewed the lad and his family, and although his parents weren't identified, they did confirm that the boy, a fan of both baseball and the O's, is named after the park. So it goes in a world that already contains children named Wrigley Field and Crimson Tide. The only thing that could make this naming quirk more troubling would be for conveniently named athletes to jump onboard. A few suggestions.

[originallink:10901281:1012628]

PLAYER

CHILD'S NAME

ANALYSIS

Josh Fields

Citi

An attractive child filled with self-loathing; money problems

Gilbert Arenas

Joe Louis

Nice kid, winner inside, ready to fight—gloves on or off

Manute Bol

Rose

Laid-back flower child who blends in with her natural surroundings

Chan Ho Park

Fenway

A heartbreaker who will age gracefully and eventually cash in

Tie Domi

Georgia

Southern belle who's a bit hollow and has a thing for losers

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

Robert Morris has become the first school offering athletic scholarships for its varsity video game team.

PHOTO

TWITTER.COM (CAMDEN YARDS)

PHOTO

ALEX BRANDON/AP (FIELDS)

PHOTO

JOE MURPHY/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (ARENAS)

PHOTO

JOHN W. MCDONOUGH FOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED (BOL)

PHOTO

STEPHEN DUNN/GETTY IMAGES (PARK)

PHOTO

BRUCE BENNETT/GETTY IMAGES (DOMI)

PHOTO