SI crawled through the archive of sports-related U.S. patents filed over the last two years and found a few unique items in the pipeline. Unless you have some very specific needs, one of these products could become the white elephant of a Christmas future
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Idea: An outer shell oozes "blood" so MMA trainees know they've been KO'd
Who's it for: The Grasshopper so dense he doesn't realize when he's been hit in the head—hard
Idea: A foldout flop spot with a battery-operated fan for those warm-weather tailgates
Who's it for: That beefy bro who breaks a sweat jumping out of the shower
your team here
Idea: One baseball hat, multiple team logos that can be swapped out
Who's it for: Justin Bieber? Larry Brown?
Cauliflower Ear Muffs
Idea: Pop-on ear coverings that make any average wimp look like a hardened wrestler
Who's it for: Bushy-bearded, tattooed hipsters dying for more attention
Idea: Helmets that repel each other
Who's it for: Players who don't go near metal lockers, referee's whistles, car keys....
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
There were 10 Heisman voters who did not have winner Marcus Mariota in their top three. The Oregon quarterback threw for 3,783 yards, 38 TDs and only two interceptions.
JULIO CORTEZ/AP (MARIOTA)