Patriot Acts

ON JUNE 4, Alan St. Louis, an engineer from Nashua, N.H., set a record by performing "The Star-Spangled Banner" 25 times in 24 hours at Boston's Shootout for Soldiers, a daylong charity lacrosse tournament. St. Louis also holds records for most public anthem renditions in a day (10) and a year (325). In honor of his achievement and the Fourth of July, here are the four best and four worst anthem performances (non-Hendrix division).

[This article contains a table. Please see hardcopy of magazine or PDF.]

THE BEST	THE WORST
4. Beyoncé Knowles	4. Steven Tyler
At Super Bowl XLVII she started melodically but brought out the full Queen Bey power vocals for a big finish.	At the 2012 AFC championship game, it wasn't just the cracking voice, it was also the forgotten lyrics.
3. Marvin Gaye	3. Carl Lewis
He was backed only by drums at the 1983 NBA All-Star Game: jazzy, improvisational, note perfect.	About halfway through his performance at the '93 NBA Finals, he uttered, "Uh-oh." Enough said.
2. Carrie Underwood	2. Roseanne Barr
The American Idol went a cappella at Super Bowl XLIV; it might've even made Simon Cowell salute.	She was shrill and off-key before a 1990 Reds-Padres game, then added offensive gestures.
1. Whitney Houston	1. R. Kelly
Amid 1991's Persian Gulf war, backed by swelling horns, she showed the power of playing it straight.	At least Barr meant to suck; Kelly's synthesized reggae version before the Hopkins-Taylor fight in '05 just did.

THEY SAID IT

"I HAD A BAD STOMACH, SO I SIMPLY LET GO."

Adam Lindin Ljungkvist

Defender for Pershagens SK in a lower-level Swedish league, who was shown a red card for passing gas during an argument with the ref.

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

Shaquille O'Neal, who fell one vote short of being the NBA's first unanimous MVP in 2000, attempted to troll Steph Curry.