Ha to the Chief

THE STANLEY CUP champion Penguins enjoyed another fruit of their victory when they visited the White House last Thursday. As usual, the President praised the team's character and charitable works and dished out a few zingers, landing his best shot with a bon mot about one of Pittsburgh's perennially disrespected forwards: "We are here to celebrate an extraordinary achievement: Phil Kessel is a Stanley Cup champion." Here are a few more of POTUS's top lines from 2016.

"Charles Barkley apparently jumped out of his seat, which he doesn't do very often these days."

On Villanova's March Madness win

"Tell J.R. and everybody to put on a shirt, though. He can't be just walking around without a shirt for a whole week."

On Cavs guard J.R. Smith's penchant to go topless while inviting the team to visit

"I'd like to say I'll see you next year, but we have this thing called term limits."

On Alabama coach Nick Saban's fourth visit in seven years

"Last year fans swamped the All-Star balloting, so it looked like the starting lineup was going to be all Royals. As a Chicago guy I appreciate that. Vote early, vote often."

Commenting on the fervor of Kansas City fans

"It doesn't matter whether you need insurance, pizza, a Buick. You basically can stock your whole household with stuff this guy is selling."

To retiring Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning

THEY SAID IT

"WE DON'T MAKE EXCUSES, BUT THREE OF OUR FOUR STARTING DEFENSIVE LINEMEN WERE WATCHING THE GAME TODAY."

Jeff Fisher

Rams coach, "explaining" his team's 30--19 loss to the Bills.

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

Ecuador striker Enner Valencia allegedly faked an injury during a World Cup qualifier so he could use an ambulance to escape police waiting to arrest him for unpaid child support.