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From Laps to Lap Bands

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THE PASSAGE from last week's My Bariatric Solutions 300 at Texas Speedway to next week's Fitzgerald Glider Kits 300 at Bristol leads to a larger question: Are race names getting weirder in NASCAR's second-tier Xfinity Series? The relatively low cost of sponsorship (NASCAR won't say how much) has long led to event titles with the sex appeal of, well, bariatric surgery. The high—or low—point might have been 2002's Pork The Other White Meat 400. See if you can tell the actual Xfinity races from the fake ones.

REAL

FAKE

1. SpongeBob SquarePants 400

2. Cheez-It 355

3. The Dinty Moore Stew 300

4. MyAFibStory.com 400

5. Subway Jalapeño 250

6. Skeeter's Playland 250

7. The Ginsu 425

8. Go Bowling 400

9. TreatMyClot.com 300

10. Drive Sober 200

11. VisitMyrtleBeach.com 300

12. RestlessLegSyndrome 250

13. American Ethanol E15 250

14. Desitin NoMoreDiaperRash 300

ANSWERS

1. REAL; 2. REAL; 3. FAKE; 4. REAL; 5. REAL; 6. FAKE; 7. FAKE; 8. REAL; 9. REAL; 10. REAL; 11. REAL; 12. FAKE; 13. REAL; 14. FAKE

THEY SAID IT

"IF WHAT HE'S DOING WASN'T SO DIFFICULT, WE'D HAVE A LOT MORE PEOPLE BEING ABLE TO DO IT."

Billy Donovan // Thunder coach, on Oklahoma City guard Russell Westbrook's attempt to tie the NBA season record for triple doubles (41), which he did on April 4. He broke it on April 9.

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

The Mariners have introduced a new concession item for 2017: toasted grasshoppers.