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Wiki Tweaks

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SHORTLY AFTER the conclusion of the first round of the NFL draft, the Wikipedia page of Bears GM Ryan Pace had been updated to note that he'd "committed career suicide by trading four draft picks to move up one spot in order to draft second-round talent and future bust, Mitchell Trubisky, with the second overall pick." The comment has since been removed, but a few other postdraft notes should be considered.

Jerry Reese

GIANTS GM

"Risked a professional stomach flu by passing on the obvious replacement for Eli Manning, who's from an NFL family and wore No. 10 at Ole Miss—Chad Kelly, who's from an NFL family and wore No. 10 at Ole Miss."

Rocky

ORANGUTAN

"Boosted his job prospects by announcing three Colts picks—reinforcing the belief that the draft is like throwing darts—but it has since been reported that he's never even won the fantasy football league at the Indy zoo."

Sam Darnold

USC QB

"Suffered career assassination at the hands of the 2017 draft, which increased the likelihood that the USC quarterback and presumptive No. 1 pick in the 2018 draft will be condemned to the Browns, Chargers or Jets."

Mike Brown

BENGALS GM

"Walked unscathed from a car wreck after adding the controversial Oklahoma running back Joe Mixon to a team with frequent rule breakers Adam Jones and Vontaze Burfict. Brown's secret? He owns the team."

THEY SAID IT

"I'M GOING TO CHECK HIS CHECKERS AND HE'LL CHECK MY CHECKERS. I GUESS IT WON'T BE A CHESS MATCH THEN. IT'LL BE A CHECKERS MATCH."

Guy Boucher

Ottawa coach, responding to Rangers coach Alain Vigneault, who joked that he might have to shadow Jean-Gabriel Pageau, the Sens' defensive-minded forward who scored four goals in Game 2.

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

For his big draft moment, East Carolina WR Zay Jones, picked 37th by the Bills, wore a T-shirt depicting the O.J. Simpson car chase.