PROPER SPONSORS

With the NBA now allowing corporate logos to appear on jerseys, we identified some potential partnerships that would be very on-brand

ATLANTA HAWKS • HAWKS.COM

You know which brand could use some more exposure? The Atlanta Hawks.

NEW YORK KNICKS • NYC DEPARTMENT OF SANITATION

Pretty self-explanatory.

PHILADELPHIA SIXERS • IKEA

Assembly always required. Liable to break down at any time.

PHOENIX SUNS • ZOLOFT

For those times when you "Don't wanna be here."

CHICAGO BULLS • 1ST ARMORED DIVISION

America's best tankers, brought to you by America's best tanks.

BROOKLYN NETS • SIGGI'S

The yogurt is a perfect fit for Brooklyn (artisanally crafted) and the Nets (kind of bland).

THEY SAID IT

"I THINK NOW IT'S DEFINITE."

Martina Hingis

The 37-year-old veteran, on retiring from tennis for the third time. Since her WTA debut in 1994, she has won 25 Grand Slam titles (five singles, 13 doubles and seven mixed doubles).

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

Vladimir Putin has accused the U.S. of trying to get Russia banned from the upcoming Winter Olympics—in what he says is an attempt to influence the Russian elections next spring.