NO U.S.A.? NO PROBLEM
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Odds according to Sky Bet
[The following text appears within a diagram. Please see hardcopy or PDF for actual diagram.]
40:1
RUSSIA
;)
NONE OF THOSE? HMMM... WAIT JUST ONE DAMN SECOND—ARE YOU VLADIMIR PUTIN!?
...
200:1
SERBIA
IVANOVIC, STOJKOVIC, MITROVIC
150:1
SWEDEN
LARSSON, CLAESSON, OLSEN
150:1
SENEGAL
N'DIAYE, KOUYATE, KOULIBALY
100:1
DENMARK
250:1
PERU
66:1
POLAND
16:1
ENGLAND
750:1
COSTA RICA
6:1
FRANCE
250:1
ICELAND
33:1
CROATIA
1,000:1
PANAMA
SURE, WHY NOT?
START HERE
RED-WHITE-AND-BLUE IS RED-WHITE-AND-BLUE, RIGHT?
UH, NO
100:1
MEXICO
YEAH—AND, LOOK, I FEEL REAL BAD ABOUT THAT "SAINT ZUSI" THING
SÍ
LOVE THY NEIGHBOR, THOUGH—AMIRIGHT?
FINE. LET'S DO IT THIS WAY: WE'LL GIVE YOU SOME PLAYER NAMES. WHICH ONES SPEAK TO YOU?
I DON'T JUDGE BOOKS BY COVERS.
THERE'S A TEAM WHOSE NAME TRANSLATES TO "OUR BOYS"? THEM. I WANT THAT TEAM
SOCCEROOS: SIGN ME UP
SAMURAI BLUE SOUNDS BADASS
KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID. THE RED AND WHITES. I LIKE THAT
THE COFFEE GROWERS: POUR ME A TALL ONE OF THAT
O.K., THEN WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A TEAM NAME?
100:1
SWITZERLAND
500:1
AUSTRALIA
EXACTLY!
OH, YOU WANT A TEAM THAT PLAYS LIKE THE U.S.?
BLECH. NO
HELL NO. DOS A CERO!
28:1
URUGUAY
200:1
JAPAN
40:1
COLOMBIA
YES. THAT
MAYBE IT'S THE SCRAPPY UNDERDOG ELEMENT THAT YOU LOVE ABOUTTHE U.S....
NAH, GIMME A WINNER FOR ONCE
9:2
BRAZIL
250:1
NIGERIA
1,000:1
SAUDI ARABIA
250:1
SOUTH KOREA
750:1
IRAN
1,000:1
TUNISIA
150:1
EGYPT
250:1
MOROCCO
THAT'S NO WAY TO PICK A TEAM
NO. D-FENSE!
YOU DO LIKE SEEING GOALS THOUGH, NO?
DUDE, WHAT DID I JUST SAY?
9:2
GERMANY
YES!
NAH
UHHH, YEAH
6:1
SPAIN
10:1
BELGIUM
YOU'RE NOT IN THIS JUST FOR THE KITS, ARE YOU?
HARD PASS
O.K., HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT FAREWELL TOURS?
THE LAST WALTZ! THE ROOF OF APPLE RECORDS! HIT ME BABY ONE LAST TIME!
9:1
ARGENTINA
25:1
PORTUGAL